2015 was a very productive year for me, personally and creatively. The word “emergent” proved to be an accurate choice. As I had promised myself, I kept my eyes and self open, and let the universe chart my course. I was not disappointed. There were challenges and lessons to be learned, and also a lot of wonderful adventures and opportunities. I pushed myself in directions that were not always comfortable, but usually fulfilling.
I don’t know if it makes sense or not, but I tried very hard to allow myself to just be. I made an effort to strip away the conceived ideas I’ve put upon myself, or allowed others to put upon me over the years. I worked at sloughing off layers of self-doubt, self-imposed beliefs and conformance so that I could really see just me, and whatever raw potential there might be.
I am a work in progress. Chipping away at the protective layers is a long process. They weren’t added quickly, and shedding them isn’t a quick task either. What I am learning is that the more I pull myself out of those layers and let go of them, the stronger and more confident I feel. It’s not always easy or comfortable exposing your true, unguarded self to the world. Fear and self-doubt always seem to be lurking right there in the shadows, but I have found that the reward of allowing my true self to be seen, even if it sometimes stings a bit, is worth it. It has given me the freedom and space to begin to explore who I am, what the world has to offer and what I have to offer the world.
In the midst of all this self-discovery, or perhaps because of it, my creative side has begun to flourish as well. 2015 was chock full of creative projects. Some are featured on this site as recipes, photo galleries and how-to posts. I’m also in the middle of writing a series of paranormal fiction books centered around a somewhat fictional small New England town. I also realized this year just how much I enjoy photography. I’m still a beginner, but I have loved the experience of exploring the world through the lens of a camera. Some of what I’ve photographed is on this site, and some I post to Instagram – as @ByCLAlden.
I have emerged in other ways by pushing myself to live in the present, the here and now, not just waiting or planning for some future event. I have made a point to take time out from daily life to have some fun, whether it’s working on a fun project, taking a quick walk outside, meeting a friend for a drink, or by taking day trips to explore the world around my neighborhood. I have also emerged back into the dating scene by dipping my toes back into the dating pool via online dating sites, but that’s a story for another post! 🙂
I’ll conclude this post by saying that I’m enjoying my new perspective of me, the world, and all that it offers. I’m not finished emerging yet. I’m not sure when I will be, and that’s okay.